


Tonight on the Daily Show

by Goethicite



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Crossover, Gen, Humor, Sexism, TV News
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-07
Updated: 2012-08-07
Packaged: 2017-11-11 15:10:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/479850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Goethicite/pseuds/Goethicite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some things are sadly multiversal.  (What happens when some jerk goes on a rant on a radio show and insults Pepper and Natasha.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tonight on the Daily Show

**Author's Note:**

> Written to make my sister laugh. Don't take the pairings seriously. The Daily Bugle was involved after all, and there's only one Ben Ulrich.

**This is the Daily Show with Jon Stewart...**

"So we've had confirmation today that Rand Lindel is suicidal. No word if he's been hospitalized yet, but everyone considered it a cry for help when he called the Black Widow and Virginia Potts *bleep*ing *bleeps* on public radio."

"Now, for those of you who've been hiding in a cave for the past year, some women being called *bleeps* by Rand might not seem like a big deal. However, Virginia Potts is the ex-significant other of Tony Stark, currently dating Steve Rogers, also known as Captain America, and the CEO of the multi-billion dollar, international Stark Industries. The Black Widow is the only active female member of the Avengers, those guys that kicked alien ass here in New York, and, according to the Daily Bugle, is in a long term relationship with the Hulk. Yes, the /Hulk/."

“These statements were only a few of the things Rand said on his famously conservative talk show two days ago. This blatant attack on the most public, female figures in superheroing today sparked controversy among the public. Yesterday, Stark Industries released a statement of their intention to sue Rand, his network, and sponsors for slander on behalf of both injured parties. On the other hand, Hawkeye had this to say:"

_Cell phone footage of radio headquarters. The sign is being peppered with arrows that eventually spell ‘ASSHOLE’._

"Tony Stark, aka Iron Man, majority owner and former CEO of Stark Industries, could not be reached for comment. We assume because he's plotting the rapid downfall of Rand in the most humiliating way possible. Captain America, however, did have this to say during a SHIELD press conference:

_Video clip from CXN of Rogers in Captain America uniform with cowl pulled back. There is dirt smudged across his face and shield. "I'm really disappointed that we haven't moved beyond this idea that a woman can't be capable in her own right. Calling women names and insulting their personal live is rude and petty. Pepper and Natasha are two of my best friends, and I hate that people are okay with them being disrespected like this."_

“That’s right, you hurt Captain America’s feelings. You bastard. But seriously, Rand, insulting one of the most powerful women in the world and a trained assassin is not good for life expectancy or financial stability. I recommend therapy, lots of it.”


End file.
